Day three of the final full IVF cycle in our quest to chase our little miracle - 125 iu's FSH
There is a dark cloud of self pity and loathing hanging around my head and i need to escape it, i need to see the sunshine again, i need to wake from this nightmare once more. I need to know that i am okay, that i will be okay, i need to know that i am not a failer, i need to know that someones hand is going to reach down any second now and pull me from this deep hole i have dug myself into.
i look forward to the day when this is but a bad dream, and i look forward to the day when i can look back at myself and laugh. I cant wait until this becomes a journel of my past, something that reminds me each and every day how i overcame all of my fears and doubts.
I know in my heart that there is a path out there in front of me waiting for my footsteps to make imprints in the dirt, and while i do not know yet what direction that path leads me, i look forward to that day where i can turn around, look back, and i realise that i was never alone, the day when i realise that each choice i made was the right one, and lead me to a place where i was content, and led me to a place where i know that there was always a hand pulling me from the hole i dug.
“Hope is faith holding out its hand in the dark.” George Lies
